Channeling High-School-Danne for Quarantine Survival
High School Danne: If you didn’t know I was a weirdo, now you do. And no, this is not my natural hair color—although I did really enjoy being a redhead.
I am really good at keeping myself entertained. I was the kind of little kid who could play quietly by myself for hours. The kind of teenager who had a big group of friends…but who also spent a lot of time alone in my room. The kind of 20-something who had no problem coming up with things to do with my time when I got laid off and was out of work for almost a year… and now?
I’m channeling all these past versions of myself to keep busy during quarantine. The days feel mostly normal because I am (thankfully) still employed full-time so I just focus on work like I normally would…but the nights and weekends are this vast expanse of time that I sometimes struggle with how to fill…and it’s starting to remind me of being a teenager stuck at home in those pre-driver’s license days before I had the freedom to explore the world outside my parent’s house.
During my first few years of high school there was no internet (at least not in the Dzenawagis household anyways), social media sites, or cell phones, so when I had hours of time alone in my room at night I had to find ways to be creative—and I always did.
I journaled. I wrote poems—so many embarrassing poems (when the world opens back up again my goal is to read them aloud on stage at a Mortified event). I made art—really bad high school art centered around Saves the Day lyrics and hyperbolic teenage feelings. I spent hours and hours putting together elaborate mixed tapes for my friends with corresponding handwritten notes describing why I chose each song. I painted. I sewed. I talked on the phone with my friends for hours. I listened to music—whole albums while laying on my bed, reading along with the lyrics that were printed in the CD booklet.
Remember doing that?
I became a pro at creatively filling my time, and it’s a skill that has served me well over these past 10 months. Just like High-School-Danne, 37-Year-Old-Danne has a lot of time on her hands, and most nights I can be found in my room* trying to find ways to pass the time like it’s 1997 all over again.
What have I been doing?
Well, I’ve been writing more, a lot more actually. I’ve been taking pictures and experimenting with film photography again. I planned and planted a garden last spring, tended to it all summer long, and I’ll do it all over again this year. I’ve been taking classes online at my local community college and I signed up for a 6-week Applied Astrology course that starts in a few weeks. I’ve read 30 books. I did some redecorating and reorganizing around the house. I take long walks almost every day and have explored new nature trails and hiking paths in my town. I’ve sent off postcards and handwritten notes to friends and family and have had more Zoom calls with girlfriends than I can count. I’ve cooked and baked more than ever before. Dan and I watched 17 TV series (which is new for me, I am typically not a big TV-watcher). I have time for all the self-care I need. I have the space to daydream and rest.
Sometimes it feels like a slog. But other times I really enjoy the gift of time this pandemic has given me. While I miss trip-planning and travel, meeting friends at bars and restaurants without 6 feet and a mask between us, going to galleries, museums, and live events, being bored doesn’t feel nearly as dreadful as it did when I was a teenager—and I also know this time will not last forever.
As much as I’m looking forward to the end of this pandemic and the havoc it has wreaked on the world, part of me will miss the quiet moments it has allowed me and the space it has created in my life—some of which I hope I can take with me when “normal” life begins again.
So, shoutout to High-School-Danne: Your weird-art-kid tendencies and introversion may have felt like a curse at the time, but they turned out to be an invaluable asset in adulthood.
“The things that made you weird as a kid make you great today. ”
— James Victore
*Yes, I have my own room and it’s amazing. Dan and I live in a 3-bedroom house and we each have our own office (I call mine the Dzen Den)—which is key now that we both work from home. It’s so fun to have my own space again that I can decorate however I want (everything is pink and patterned and flamingos abound) and I love having a sacred little yoga corner where I can have an alter set up and my mat permanently rolled out.
